Walla Walla University / Western Wedding University – The Straight Adventist Alternative; The Collegian / Singled Out Reject Cliff Goldstein’s “New Theology”: From Barn Parties to Babies

Dear Power of Pride,

BUCKING THE TREND

We don’t want to burst your bubble, but you should know that there are still a few heterosexual young Adventists out there.

We find your website interesting anyway.

WANT MEN AND BABIES — NOT WATERMELONS

Next year, we will be enrolling in college, and would like to attend an Adventist one. And not just for academics, but for marriage. With men, for your information.

We want normal families, with plenty of children — not watermelons!

Alison and Kara

!!YOUR ANSWERS FROM POWER OF PRIDE – GAY ADVENTIST NEWS!!

Dear Girls,

I guess that rules out a lot of the great colleges and universities we’ve brought to the attention of our readership in the Community.

HAVEN OF HETEROSEXUAL LOVE

But there is one place that is sure to meet your wishes — 110%!!!

We’re talking Western Wedding University. The college doesn’t just offer physics and math. There are opportunities for experiments in APPLIED CHEMISTRY. They call this speed dating.

PAIRING UP FOR FAMILY LIFE

You get brief conversations with plenty of top quality, potential mates. All of them are heterosexual — and all supercharged with hormones and dreams of human children.

WHILE THE OTHER ADVENTIST SCHOOLS HAVE BEEN PUSHING ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES

For the longest time, those other Adventist institutions have taken their cues from Mr. Cliff Goldstein’s theology:

“I’m sure Jesus looks approvingly on ‘loving, monoganamous, and committed’ homosexual sodomy, don’t you?” Cliff Goldstein (click for citation)

What? Haven’t heard of him before?

“Clifford R. Goldstein is a Seventh-day Adventist author and editor. He is a leading figure in the denomination.” (Clifford Goldstein, Wikipedia)

or in his own words:

“I edit the Adult Sabbath School Bible Study Guides (the “Quarterly”), the official denominational teaching publication for the world SDA Church; the publisher is the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.” (Clifford Goldstein, Graffiti in the Holy of Holies: An Impassioned Response to Recent Attacks on the Sanctuary and Ellen White, Pacific Press Publishing, 2003, p. 12)

BUT NOW, CHANGE COMES TO AMERICA
The Collegian is the student newspaper at Western Wedding University. There are all sorts of interesting stories.

At left, we see an announcement of a date auction.

If you’re a little shy, a date auction is just the thing to get wind in your romantic sails!!

Ah, you say, that would just be losers!

TOO FAR FROM IT

Check the pictures at right! We’re talking first-class partners for life!!!!!

These people look totally cool, but they also have rock-solid character. They are the kind of people who will give you joy, satisfaction, and love — for life!

GET A TASTE OF HETERO PARADISE

You can subscribe to the Collegian, and get the exciting news on an ongoing basis.

You’ll see just how much fun higher education can be.

Danielle Reedy and her staff of talented student journalists bring you the best in social news from the Walla Walla University!!

Also, extremely useful advice. Consider the advice column “Communication In Relationships Is Key” in the October 30, 2008, issue of the Collegian (see page 9).

Billy Style explains that you have to listen carefully to people, and figure out what they are really saying.

His advice will benefit anyone.

Of course, you could always go to Loma Linda, but the advice there has a different orientation.

LOMA LINDA UNIVERSITY: GAYNESS IS COOL

“I can choose not to apply specific teachings of Scripture”

“I do not think that the full expression of the homosexual identity is sinful.”

“I find homosexuality and heterosexuality – both as orientations and expressions – as morally equivalent and neutral.” Juhyeok Nam, http://progressiveadventism.com/2008/12/02/
why-i-disagree-with-paul/#more-582

Dr. Nam “is an associate professor of religion at Loma Linda University School of Religion in California, and a commissioned minister of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. He teaches Adventist history and theology.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Nam

Certainly Loma Linda University appeals to a certain segment of the market.

But if that’s not what you’re into, you should look elsewhere.

STRAIGHT NEWS AND INFORMATION AT WESTERN WEDDING U.

The best feature in the Collegian is Singled Out by Billy Style. He puts together what he thinks would be good matches.

Looking at the pictures, its obvious that these are extremely attractive people.

BUT IF YOU’RE HOLDING OUT FOR REALLY TOUGH GUYS:

The top social event of the year is the barn party. This is where the real studs show up.

If you go to Western Wedding University, the only problem you will experience is the challenge of making a choice among a huge field of top-quality mates.

So good luck girls!

p.s. You probably have some friends with attractions as depicted below. Put in a good word for Union, as they need more students now.

Graphics:

http://i.pbase.com/u40/dannysmythe/large/26436921.Watermelon.jpg

http://www.crwflags.com/fotw/images/u/us_ca-gy.gif

Newspaper graphics from The Clocktower and The Collegian